28 December 2008

About Friends

I wanted to say something about Christmas. My Christmas. But though the thoughts flow easily and abundantly I can’t allow them to stay for all to read and they are rubbed out again and again. Here I go. There are no tragic anniversaries to recall. There are not seven mouths to feed and no money. It is not the month the sky falls in. It is only the common old childish sibling troubles that bubble and double four fold on the one day of the year that all expect goodwill and cheer, and get little. We three middle aged siblings let each other go four Christmases ago. Rather those other two separated from this one. Those other two still do it together; Christmas, and I know not how it fares. Possibly well without the third to mix it. There is some small sadness left for the loss of naive hope and childish notions, but mostly there is relief. Relief and joy in adult friendships that hold a great capacity for surprise. My friends, I hope that I never think I know you so well that you are unable to surprise me, for that would be our downfall.

Thank you for a lovely Christmas day and all the rest.

4 comments:

mascanlon said...

We choose our friends, our family comes with the package and nothing says we're going to like each other. And I too can't figure out why those childhood memories still have the power to control...sigh. Glad you have chosen a family to surround yourself with love and care.

Chooks'r'us said...

My social worker friend (and ally in family craziness) tells me they hold the power because they are our primary connections. They can rankle like nothing else as a consequence. I think there is a thing in some families too where you get frozen in time; for some reason, when dealing with one of my siblings, I'm always about 9yrs old (from both sides). It's very wearing and I can imagine the relief Loani but also the lingering sadness. Here's to our lovely friendships then that sustain us, that remind us who we are and who enjoy and love us because of it.

knitter512 said...

You are so right; I have 2 sons that I so wanted to bond, but never did. And yes, this time of the year brings up all the old childhood memories. I have come to accept that they will never be close and that it is their loss and not my fault. We cannot choose our families, but our friends we can. Merry Christmas

Grand Purl Baa said...

Heard a fab ABC Radio National Life Matters program on Dorothy Rowe's My Dearest Enemy; My Dangerous Friend. Time to get the book now. If for nothing but to understand a little better - and of course to know that one is far from on one's own - as you all do prove. Thank you.